The Apple Orchard: VICE PRESIDENT UNHURT IN HUNTING MISHAP

The Apple Orchard

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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

VICE PRESIDENT UNHURT IN HUNTING MISHAP

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!", SAYS A RELIEVED DICK CHENEY.

While hunting quail on a Texas ranch Saturday evening, a shot from the Vice President's firearm struck a hunting companion, Harry Whittington, in the chest and face. Witnesses said the victim was standing behind the Vice President when the shot was fired."Cheney, Whittington and another hunter spotted a covey of quail. Whittington shot a bird and left to look for it as Cheney and the other hunter located a second covey and walked ahead of Whittington to take their shots".It was at this point that Whittington "came up from behind the vice president and the other hunter and didn't signal them or indicate to them or announce himself," a witness told Associated Press in an interview. "The covey flushed and the vice president picked out a bird and was following it and shot. And by God, Harry was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good."

In a related incident, Eddie Eagle, mascot for the NRA Eddie Eagle Gunsafe Program, issued a press release clarifying this statement made last friday at a Dallas elementary school:"Normally, the only way a hunting partner can be blamed for getting shot is if he shoots himself. The bottom line is if you have a hunting partner, it's your duty to always know where he (or she) is. Period." Flanked by a pair of Secret Service agents, Eddie Eagle made it clear that his message is intended for school children only. " As far as the NRA is concerned, adults shooting other adults is a constitutionally protected right".

Asked what caliber firearm he was using at the time of the mishap, Cheney indicated that it was just a "....tiny ole thing. Hell, when I was a kid we'd shoot each other with these things all the time."It's been reported that Cheney was using a 28-gauge shotgun — a popular size for hunting small birds. Approximately 200 pellets hit the victim, normally an impossibility, given that caliber shotgun shell at 30 yards. "But, Dick is a hell of a shot. At that range, with what we'd been drinkin' - hell", quipped Whittington.

An agitated Elmer Fudd, the third member of the hunting party, declined to give an opinion on the wisdom of hunting anything "with such widdle cawibber buwwets", but did say, "It wasn't the Vice Pwesidents fauwt. You never cweep around quietwy wike that when hunting!"

Speaking from outside Walter Reed Hospital, injured hunter Harry Whittington said, "I am just relieved that the Vice President took it so well. What the hell was I thinkin', walking around quietly like that?"

posted by MsApples @ 4:48:00 PM

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