I attended therapy today…yeah, I had to attend another session. I honestly thought that it would be a waste of time and energy, but, this session was ACTUALLY for lack of a better word…therapeutic! LOL It was just my ex-husband and I today. Tyrone felt that he needed to get to the core of why I felt so angry towards him…and found out he did. Sadly, my ex-husband is probably the only person on this entire Earth that can bring out the worst in me. Seriously…I am a very loving, giving and nurturing woman, but get me in the room with this man, and I can change at a drop of a dime. I’ve been able to control and channel this anger as years have gone by, but today I learned that he’s not worth my energy, I am no longer a victim in his games…lies or deception. Today, March 3, 2008, I let go of the anger and resentment towards him. I flushed out the bullshit. I did away with the bitterness and hate….yes, I know hate…but who am I kidding if I’m not honest with myself…right? I was able to let go of the past hurts and disloyalties. He fucked up, not me. I remember that early in my divorce, anger was my motivation to help me move on…it propelled me into new avenues that would help me financially. I was able to take on tutoring gigs that would help with the mortgage…my car payment…etc. But anger also began to take control of me. My self-esteem was suffering, my relationship with family and friends became isolated and I was feeling bitter towards everyone. I was not happy... *SIGH* Mi gente, today I let go of that 1000 lb. anvil sitting on my neck.... I WILL NEVER AGAIN…NEVER AGAIN, grant anyone that power over me. Besos mi gente... |
