| Saturday, April 08, 2006 |
| the box... |
Sometimes I am my own enemy. I slip back on my "martyr" hat and sacrifice myself to please others. I try to squeeze back into that hated item...the box...aka my construct tailored  especially to make myself feel unworthy, inadequate.
"Neyda, be pretty. Neyda, be nice. Neyda, be clever. Neyda, be cool."
To deal with this, I give into the chaos and feel...I mean really feel. I make an effort to accept how I feel even if it isn't pretty. Though I'm not completely able to be self-accepting, just a small bit of effort seems to help. The box gets loose and I can kick it aside for the moment.Then, if I'm still feeling vulnerable, I quickly pull on my striped socks. They are my secret weapon and are great at repelling self-hatred. Sometimes they even catch smiles and save them for later! Thank you for letting me share this. |
posted by MsApples @ 6:07:00 PM  |
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| 1 Comments: |
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OMG...You sweet, dear, gorgeous, scholarly-humble, never-alone, grammar-referee, apple-pie-in-the-sky of resolvement!! Have no fear. Freud, Einstein and Einsenhower had similar "problems". You're in good company. Unfortunately, the "company" is not good in you. I hear your Math is excellent.
...XOXOXO...(smile, grin...) ---Rico
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Name: MsApples
Home: Miami, Florida, United States
About Me: 46 year old NYC Cuban Love Goddess, now residing in MIA, divorced, mom to 2 teenagers, overworked & underpaid educator to loving, yet outta control students...I am intelligent, creative, sexy, compassionate, funny, sarcastic, loving, fucked up, romantic, spontaneous, moody at times, confused, confusing, a bit geeky, helpful and helpless at times, a good listener and a good friend.
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OMG...You sweet, dear, gorgeous, scholarly-humble, never-alone, grammar-referee, apple-pie-in-the-sky of resolvement!! Have no fear. Freud, Einstein and Einsenhower had similar "problems". You're in good company. Unfortunately, the "company" is not good in you. I hear your Math is excellent.
...XOXOXO...(smile, grin...) ---Rico