| Tuesday, February 07, 2006 |
| Things I wish all men understood... |
 I absolutely LOVE men! Men are so deliciously loveable!
...however, I've become fed up with the misunderstandings, silly games and annoying habits common to some of the men folk I can't seem to stay away from. Sometimes a simple nod or an "Oh Mami, I know what you're talking about" is all that's required to experience healing compassion and understanding. However, there are moments when I shake my fuzzy little head and wish for more.
It would be really great if ALL men understood a few simple things:
1.) Yes, I really do NEED all of these silly hair, skin and make-up products. Do you really NEED your silly television?
2.) I like it when you appreciate my body and say sexy things. You know I love it when you unexpectedly tell me I'm pretty. It's also flattering when you make a sexy sound as I bend over to fasten the clasp on my shoe. However, when you make the same sound and grind up on my ass when I'm bent over to take out the garbage, it's really annoying. I think we're talking about the concept of timing here, papis.
3.) Put the seat down after you pee. This isn't just about being polite; it's a RULE! No wait, it's not just a rule; it's like a Commandment. Forget Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife and Thou shall not take the Lord's name in vain. For Christ sakes, boys, put the dayum seat down! The Cuban Love Goddess hath proclaimed it!
4.) Remember when you told me how much you like it when I tell you what I want. I said, "Mmmm, a little more to the right ... Ahhhhh, papito exactly ... that's it ... siiiiii, like that ...Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Ohmgod! Give it to me, corazon! I want you now!" We both liked that. You know what else I want real bad, papi? I want you to pick up your nasty underwear and put them in the laundry hamper. If I say, "Siiiii, like that ... Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Ohmgod!" will you feel more motivated?
5.) Just because it's that time of the month, doesn't mean I don't have a very good reason to cry, or to be surly, or to eat half my weight in chocolate. If you shut up, act like everything's perfectly normal and pass me the Peanut M&Ms, we'll all be a lot happier.
6.) I don't care how many times you try to get me to see the humor, it's never funny when you fart and then pull the covers over my head. You're the one who's laughing, and I'm the one who's screaming bloody murder... gasping for air... What? Are you eight? No, I don't want to pull your finger!!
7.) Just because you're done with sex, doesn't mean I am. The least you could do is scoot over in the bed so I have room to finish. It would be even better if you gave me a hand ... Literally ...
No, don't applaud!! See what we have to work with here, people! |
posted by MsApples @ 7:10:00 PM  |
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| About Me |
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Name: MsApples
Home: Miami, Florida, United States
About Me: 46 year old NYC Cuban Love Goddess, now residing in MIA, divorced, mom to 2 teenagers, overworked & underpaid educator to loving, yet outta control students...I am intelligent, creative, sexy, compassionate, funny, sarcastic, loving, fucked up, romantic, spontaneous, moody at times, confused, confusing, a bit geeky, helpful and helpless at times, a good listener and a good friend.
See my complete profile
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