I headed out to Tarjay today for an unexpected purchase. I busted my ass this mornin. My usual early mornin pee ended up with me sprawled out on the bathroom floor!!! UGH, the horror! I guess I threw myself down too hard and the toilet seat just couldn't take the agony of it all any longer and decided to give away on me!!!

Needless to say, I am a tad bit embarrassed. Is my culo that heavy? Is it that big? Is it too wide? I tore up those plastic screws like they weren't doin anything for the seat!!! They couldn't hold me any longer...they were screaming for help...until finally they decided "Stop the madness mamita and sit on the toilet like a lady should"

So, I made my new purchase...Let's see if the chrome hinges hold up better than those cheap plastic screws!

We all then figured we were super duper hungry!! So we drove up to one of my favorite restaurants - a wonderful Jamaican-Chinese place...Marie's Patties. They have the best dayum tasting Jamaican patties in South Miami. Ya think my ass could take one more pattie? Shyt, I just got a new toilet seat...chrome hinges and all...IT BETTER HOLD MY ASS!!