| Friday, April 27, 2007 |
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It's crystal clear that I have a pattern when it comes to the men I let in my life. My problem is that I am attracted to intelligent, articulate, tall, dark and handsome fellows that can sweep me off my feet by uttering words of beguilement. You might say, 'Neyda, that’s wonderful, why are you even bringing this up?' Well, these men -- the ones I have met -- are also cheaters, pretenders, con men, liars that wouldn’t know the truth if it was biting them in the ass!
You would think that at the age of 45, well almost 46 I would have all this figured out by now, right? Nope, not I. I am gullible, trusting, giving, loving, JUST A SUCKA FOR YOUR LOVE type of chica!!
I believe every word that comes from their mouths! It’s only in hindsight, that I see the games and the fibs come to fruition. Oh how did Sade put it....'smooth operator'....yup, that's my pattern, that’s what I have to learn to break, that’s what I have to say NO to. The ‘smooth operators’ of the land. I have to learn to be cold, suspicious, weary, doubtful---can I do it? Will I learn my lesson? Have I learned my lesson? I hope so. I’ve had it. I’m through with the drama and the pretending.
Men and drama, who needs it!
Besos mi gente… |
posted by MsApples @ 6:10:00 PM  |
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| Saturday, April 21, 2007 |
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an unspoken truth is something in life we all know to be true but to speak it is taboo.
I fell in love or was it emotional lust with a man that still had legal ties in his life. I knew it was wrong, but yet I couldn’t stop myself. His charm and his allure hypnotized my mind, my spirit & my soul. I gave into it...into him...our bodies became one... I need to purge, I need to release this truth – it’s not unspoken any longer. Perdon, perdon.
Besos mi gente…
Unspoken Truth
The silence in your voice
Like the calm before a storm
My mind on edge
Rehearsing destruction that's gonna form
Your actions speaking clear
Of what your mouth won't say
Yet I still sit and wait
Like a slave to game
The unspoken truth
Haunting my every move
Capturing my every thought
Imprisoning my mood
Swings coming frequently
Got me fuck'n up my lines
Cause I keep lookin back
Clock says quarter till nine
Stood up again
No call
No show
Feelin like I've been replaced
By the girl on the low
Consumed by the thoughts
Of the what if and I thinks
Only release
Is my pad and my ink
You're gone and I know
Yet I still want proof
Not man enough to give it
So I'll un-confine myself
And rely on the unspoken truth… |
| posted by MsApples @ 11:04:00 PM |
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| Friday, April 20, 2007 |
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mami said there'd be days like this...
My asthma is bad today--the Everglades are burning --the brush fire is massive, there's a health alert in effect. I'm not feeling so well.
To top things off, stupidity is off the charts with some of the faculty today...and uh we're teachers??
And I have to go to the attorney today after school....I want this to be OVER AND DONE WITH ALREADY!!!
UGH!! Calgon take me away....or perhaps a nice cold heiney--hell how bout a bubble bath and a heiney together!! Now, that's an idea.
Besos mi gente...
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| posted by MsApples @ 10:03:00 PM |
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| Thursday, April 19, 2007 |
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Hey, mi gente...like the new color!!?!?! It's a little bit darker than before, I didn't have enough in my budget for hi-lites this time, but I will...I will.
The boys and I are on our way to church. Antonio invited one of his good friends, Mario, to church with us today. He slept over last night. So we had pizza, soda and DVD night at my place. Andre even socialized with us there for a couple.
Well, we're off, then its off to see my daddy and drop Andre off. Have a lovely Sunday.
TTYL, besos mi gente... |
| posted by MsApples @ 7:15:00 AM |
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| Tuesday, April 17, 2007 |
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I don't think that my heart could bear any more bad news, any more sorrow or suffering. My heart is heavy with emotional anguish. I for one, haven't been able to turn off the TV. I've been on the computer most of the day, trying to get updates so that I can fill in the blanks of the unwarranted events that transpired yesterday at VT.
SIGH
This is all so so sad.
@ 2 pm this afternoon, I received a phone call from my younger sister Mayra. She asked me if I had a minute to talk. I ALWAYS have time for her....
In any case, she begins to cry and tells me that her mammogram and ultrasound came back showing that she had a lump on one of her breasts. Our family history makes us take ALL of these findings very seriously, My mami passed away from breast cancer. Sadly, when they found mami's cancer, it was already at a stage 4, so essentially WE CANNOT PLAY. Seems like all of us [we're 4 sisters] have gone through some kind of scare.
Be it as it may, I sought to cheer her up and tell her that she had to have faith and trust in our Lord. I told her that I loved her and that if she wanted for me to go with her to the Dr.'s for the biopsy I would.
I'm feeling glum...my heart is heavy
Besos mi gente |
| posted by MsApples @ 12:54:00 PM |
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| Sunday, April 15, 2007 |
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You and I were a reason. Short, sweet & mind-blowing...but only a reason.
Thank you for being a part of my life. Wishing you all the best..lovin' you from a distance..
People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.
LIFETIME, relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life. It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.
And life moves on...
Besos... you know who you are!
Have a fabulous Sunday 360 I am going out to enjoy the sunny weather while it lasts.
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| posted by MsApples @ 11:52:00 PM |
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| in the shower |
standing
eyes shut
alone
thinking
veil of water
cleansing me
escape |
| posted by MsApples @ 6:52:00 PM |
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| Saturday, April 14, 2007 |
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Good morning mi gente! Happy Saturday to all.
It's a beautiful warm, sunny day here in Miami. I've been up early taking care of chores...especially the laundry!! Why is it that I never seem to be caught up with it? Does that happen to you?
I have new found guests in my casa, ants!! I am going to Home Depot to get whatever I need to get to get rid of these little insects...they annoy me! LOL LOL
Ohhhh, I CAN'T stop smiling!!!! Wonder why?
Besos mi gente...
TTYL
P.S. The many faces of Neyda for your enjoyment! 
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| posted by MsApples @ 12:50:00 PM |
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| Thursday, April 12, 2007 |
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At moments like these
when beauty surrounds me
and I am silenced
by the ever increasing awe
of land unmarred by human touch,
I close my eyes
and I think of you.
In the gentle breeze
that sways the tips
of the tallest palm tree,
I feel the warmth
of your tentative caresses.
And in the faint cry
of the blowing wind
I hear you whispering in my ear,
pledging your undying love.
And as the sun sets
and nature unfolds
its unsurpassable private canvas,
I feel your hand in mine.
But once I spot
the first star of the night
the spell woven by an enchanted Earth,
fades into the universal darkness.
Once again I am alone.
Yet a smile passes by my lips.
'First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight. ' |
| posted by MsApples @ 1:46:00 PM |
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While teaching my first period class this morning, I received a phone call from my daddy informing me that my older sister Nuria was taken to the emergency room. Nuria has been feeling a bit under the weather lately I thought, but nothing that constitutes her being taken to the ER. Daddy explained that early in the a.m. hours, she was feeling lots of pain in her kidneys, had a fever and had severe diarrhea. Angel [my brother-in-law] got her dressed and drove her to the hospital.
It is now 4:15 p.m. and I just got back from visiting with her @ the hospital. She has an I.V. they have given her CT and MRI scans, she's taking high doses of antibiotics, her arms are black & blue from all the blood they've drawn; BUT THEY STILL HAVE NO CLUE WHAT HER PROBLEM/ILLNESS MIGHT BE!!!!!
SIGH
I can tell she's frustrated, sheesh who wouldn't be. But there's not much that be done for now, all we can do is sit and wait for the test results and hope and pray that everything will turn out for the best.
I'll be sure to keep you all posted.
When it rains...it sure does pour!!!
Besos mi gente... |
| posted by MsApples @ 9:48:00 AM |
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| Wednesday, April 11, 2007 |
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I have to be here @ school today until 8:00 p.m. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!! The District had early release for all the elementary schools today. The teachers have to meet with the parents for conferences. I had only 6 parents’ sign up for conferences, which means I will be twiddling my thumbs for 7 hours??!! NOT
I am sooooo ingenious [patting myself on the back] I have gone to all the homeroom teachers I serve and have gotten signatures from parents. I gave each of the parents a quick run-down on how their child is doing and voila, I have all the signatures I need in order to get paid. The District is paying us from 4:30 to 8:00 p.m. on an hourly basis. So in essence, I am DONE! I am going to work on my financial affidavit--I am meeting with my attorney on Friday @ 2 p.m.
I know by the time I get home this evening I will be pooped--exhausted! I 'm calling Antonio @ 8:10 p.m. and have him pop a Heineken in the freezer for me—I want a cold one ready for me as I walk through that door!!!
Besos mi gente! |
| posted by MsApples @ 4:45:00 PM |
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| Tuesday, April 10, 2007 |
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Sana sana, culito de rana, sino se sana hoy se sanara mañana
A scrape on the knee.
A bump on the head.
A stubbed toe.
A scratch from a kitten.
I miss the simplicity of childhood when such a boo-boo could easily be made better with one well-placed kiss from mommy or daddy.
I miss believing that the adults in my life had all the answers in the world, and that there wasn’t anything that couldn’t be fixed with a little bit of TLC.
As an adult, I can no longer crawl onto my mom’s lap for her to brush the hair out of my face as I cry. Even if I sometimes secretly wish I could.
The boo-boos of adulthood are a little less physical most days, and a lot harder to fix with such simplistic and unorthodox treatment methods.
The scars are less visible, generally internal, and more often than not, permanent.
Sometimes, I just really want someone to kiss it and make it all better.
Besos mi gente... |
| posted by MsApples @ 12:37:00 PM |
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| Saturday, April 07, 2007 |
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Dear Andre,
I awoke with a twinge in my belly the morning of May 19th, 1992, thought it was hunger pangs. You had me eating like a pig. I gained over 40 lbs with you. We were constantly eating Ben & Jerry's Heath Bar Crunch. YUMMMMMMY You were always moving, wiggling and jiggling inside of me. But something that warm, sunny Tuesday morning felt different. I made sure our bag was packed and I began to rub my belly and sing to you cuz lil papi, you were kicking up a storm. It was right then and there I realized you would make your debut today.
Eleven hours later, you arrived at 7:16 p.m., weighing in at 8 lbs. 11 oz. OMG, Andre you were so beautiful!!! I kissed and hugged you -- you cooed and opened your eyes -- then you gave me the sweetest smile...it brought me to tears.
That was then, this is now, and you can still bring me to tears.
I love you my son, I will continue to love you even though you don't care if I do. I will always be here for you--standing in the sidelines--always close by.
Te amo hijo mio, con todo mi corazon.
Besos,
Tu Mami |
| posted by MsApples @ 12:35:00 PM |
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| Tuesday, April 03, 2007 |
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Antonio asked me yesterday if he could invite Mario to come with us to the beach. I said sure, why the hell not, I know he gets bored just being with me sometimes. But, uh, at 8:30 this morning, there was a knock at the door and it wasn't Mario, it was another one of Antonio's friends, Khelson...uh, why wasn't I told about this??
I'm not going to make a big deal about this NOW, I don't want to embarrass him, but when we get home later this afternoon, Antonio and I will have a lengthy discussion. Khelson's parents didn't even call me to make sure this was alright with me. I wonder what goes on in folks minds sometimes? I have your son with me...would you like to know who I am???
Not cool....that's all I told Antonio as I went to make my cafe this morning...
Let me start getting things packed for our trek to the beach today.
Besos mi gente... |
| posted by MsApples @ 11:59:00 AM |
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| About Me |
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Name: MsApples
Home: Miami, Florida, United States
About Me: 46 year old NYC Cuban Love Goddess, now residing in MIA, divorced, mom to 2 teenagers, overworked & underpaid educator to loving, yet outta control students...I am intelligent, creative, sexy, compassionate, funny, sarcastic, loving, fucked up, romantic, spontaneous, moody at times, confused, confusing, a bit geeky, helpful and helpless at times, a good listener and a good friend.
See my complete profile
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