| Friday, March 31, 2006 |
| Is It Lust or Is It Love? |
 The guy in your life makes you happy. But is he the one, or just another one? You know it's lust if:
You don't mind when he's mysterious. Maybe he replies to only one out of every three text messages you send him. Or maybe he won't give detailed answers about where he went last night. But instead of being annoyed, you love the challenge. You spend all day daydreaming about your lover. You might even lose your appetite and need less sleep thanks to the surge in feel-good brain chemicals. Yes, all relationships should make you feel good. But if you can't focus on work and other real-life obligations, the relationship won't last.
You'd hook up with the new guy at work. He's young and hot, you're young and hot—it's a no-brainer!
Before a date, you change into sexy panties.
One day, you notice the stray hairs on your lover's neck, his weird-shaped toes or the way he breathes before you kiss. And you get grossed out.
You know it's love if:
You can read him like a book, but it's like flipping through a best-seller. You don't need to know all of his secrets (after all, do you really want to hear about how he fantasizes about Salma Hayek?), but you have the 411 on your man—and you love all the info.
This starstruck phase soon gives way to a stronger, less "I need to be with you siempre" bond. Your nervous system produces different hormones that help your brain understand, "Hey, this guy and I are going to be together for a while, so it's okay if I concentrate on work, too."
You realize that fantasies are just fine, but real-life affairs aren't. You'd never want to hurt your amor like that.
First off, isn't every night with your man kind of a date? Secondly, what's wrong with cotton undies?
You don't particularly love his feet, but you've massaged them. After having a margarita first, por supuesto. Latina.com |
posted by MsApples @ 4:07:00 PM  |
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| Thursday, March 30, 2006 |
| precious time of my life |
 I have a migraine again.
Why me, why?..I am tired of the pain. Every day, every hour, every minute in pain, It's like loosing a part of my life. So many things to do, but can't..please pain go away. In the morning, afternoon or evening, I am wasting the life of others by not being able to function. I have so many things to do, so much love to give, but can't this headache does not goes away. Tired of the drugs, tired of the pain, helpless ... the drugs don't work anymore. Everyone puts their life on hold, again. Not fair for my children, they ask, Mom do you feel okay today? Is there anything we can do?
This migraine is wasting precious moments of my life and it's taken moments from others, innocent casualties of this pain.
I feel guilty, I feel bad, I should go to work today, I should not say that I am in pain, it might go away. If I try to ignore it might go away. If I get busy it might go away..but it does not. I am losing my life to pain. I just want it to go away forever, go to sleep and maybe it will disappear. |
| posted by MsApples @ 11:16:00 AM |
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| Wednesday, March 29, 2006 |
| touching... |
Fingertips
Soft, so light
Brushing, stroking, stirring
Barely awake
A smile teases
The corners of my mouth
Two hands
Seeming like more
Inciting, enflaming, sparks
Aroused now
Moving in rhythm
Rising up to meet your touch
Circles
Smaller, closer
My breath is short
Quick quick
Slow, then soft
Firmly now,
and I…
Sigh |
| posted by MsApples @ 5:29:00 PM |
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| Tuesday, March 28, 2006 |
| between my legs |
 his tongue makes the wet signs
that mark me as his and he lifts me to his mouth
until my arms have nothing
to hold other than the measure
of a wingspan across the pillows
he closes his eyes and hums there
for me in the dark
singing of voices we'll never hear
and a moon too young to see
and when he tastes deeper
for the salt and grief of me
he takes from my throat the cries
a woman can only make
in the guise of a great bird
racing upward through bronze trees
dreaming of light dancing
along her very own curve of earth |
| posted by MsApples @ 3:50:00 PM |
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| Monday, March 27, 2006 |
| Overheard in New York |
"Um...yeah." Little boy: Why do I have to pee in a cup? Mom: For a test. Little boy: For a test? Do I have to drink it?
--A train
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| posted by MsApples @ 5:30:00 PM |
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| Sunday, March 26, 2006 |
| he's alive... |
ooooooh what a pleasant surprise... I received a phone call from Lex yesterday. He informed me that he had gotten into Ft. Lauderdale on or around 9 pm on Friday night...he said he called the  house when he got in, but my phone never rang. I was happy to hear his voice, he sounded agitated and hurried. Seemed like he was overwhelmed. He's going back to Tampa today or tomorrow a.m. I don't think that I will be able to see him until his commitment with the gentleman he's taking over for is over with. That is understandable. You can't be at two places at one time.
He asked what I was up to; what were my plans for the day? I let him know that the boys and I would be out and about running errands and spending time together. He took that as way to break out of the convo and say goodbye; he told me he would be talking to me later.
The boys and I did our thing. Went to Barnes & Noble; hit Old Navy; had a wonderful lunch and went over to spend time at my sister's place. I chatted with her for awhile, and the boys played video games with their cousin.
While there, my younger sis called me, she wanted to come over and do laundry. She "sharted" on herself and she messed her sheets *ewwwwww*. I left my sister's place and headed home.
While her soiled sheets washed, Mayra and I talked...talked about Lex...talked about how our night together was not what either of us had expected. How perhaps unnecessary pressures were put on him and on myself because of what transpired. Slow it down she said...your only dating...he owes you nothing and vice versa. Continue to be yourself. If YOU are what he's attracted to, he will hang around, and if not, so be it. Chalk it up as *wrong place, wrong time* and move on.
Lex called me around 9:30ish, his voice was quiet and sullen. He sounded exhausted. He was upset cuz he dropped his phone and had to take it in to be serviced--needless to say it won't be ready until Friday--the replacement phone he's using is horrible he claims; he told me how he hadn't been able to get all his errands done, but that he just needed rest, that he couldn't go on anymore. He way lying in bed watching his TiVoed motorcycle program...and he thought of me, wanting to see how my day had been. SIGH...
I am going to slow my roll...date others perhaps? Not become intimately involved...can't take the pressures of that emotion right now....and once this assignment in Tampa blows over, maybe we can pick it up where we left off...WAIT...the part right before the woman came in and surprised us both can be left out of the picture.
I sent him an email this morning that I know he will enjoy ... I let him know how I was feeling as I rolled over in bed by myself ...
Waking up slowly
Wanting him
The dream so real
Him holding her so tight
His hands flowing over her body
Touching, caressing
His lips warm and wet, kissing her with such passion
Such tenderness
Her body responding
Aching
Empty
Her breast swelling at the thought of his touch
The nipples hard
Her hips moving as feelings sweep over
The need for him so strong
She touches herself
So wet, so warm
Imagining it's his hand on her
The tightness grows
Becoming pain, a want so bad
It's indescribable
Then the image of him
Erection so hard, standing out from his body
He comes to her
With one hard thrust
Enters her filling the aching emptiness |
| posted by MsApples @ 9:58:00 AM |
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| Saturday, March 25, 2006 |
| Lunch w/the boys... |
We went to Barnes & Nobles, I love the bookstore!!! Antonio needed to get "Mice and Men" for school, they start reading it on Monday, I yanked the last copy off the shelf, and while I was there I got a few books for me to read. I've been slacking off on my reading lately.
Andre sat there in the magazine section...I can't get that boy to read a book if my life depended on it!!! He's a frickin trip. Smart as a hell, but lazy to boot! UGH!!!
Anywho, next thing you know they're screaming they're hungry, they're starvin...mind you they had a wonderful breakfast. We walked the mall and saw this Cuban restaurant [Latin American Cafe] and agreed to go in. OMG... great food, great ambiance, wonderful service....as usual, we always have such a great time together.
I love my babies, I adore them...I don't know where I would be without them in my life.
  
FOOD!!!!!
 Vaca Frita y papitas
 Pan con bistec
 Arroz blanco con frijoles negros y Vaca Frita
 Sopa de platano verde con mariquitas
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| posted by MsApples @ 4:13:00 PM |
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| Tired of the bullshit |
I haven't spoken to Lex since Thursday. He's text messaged me a couple of times, but no convo. One of those messages consisted of cancelling our date tonight. He's been evasive, illusive since last week's dramedy...BUT shouldn't it be I that has the  right to be aloof? Wasn't I the one embarassed, and placed in a precarious situation??? Thanks to my sis and friends I gave him a chance to explain and now I feel stoooopid!
He's been in Tampa this week, a co-worker had hip replacement surgery and he's up there giving them a hand. Now mind you, he's been calling and texting me ALL fuckin week, but Friday, NADA, ZILCH, ZERO text messages. His last message to me was that the next 2 months are going to be busy, because he will be commuting from Ft. Lauderdale to Tampa because of work. My response was simple, "we will see one another when your in town again, don't worry papito."
I'm not playing a game, nor am I goin to be strung along like a child. I deleted his number from my cell, that way I will ignore his call, that is if he decided to call.
I'm not goin to lose my mind over a man. Been there, done that, wrote a book about it.
Heading out to Barnes & Noble with the boys...goin to chillax.
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| posted by MsApples @ 9:30:00 AM |
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| Friday, March 24, 2006 |
| It's Friday |
...and I am so fuckin glad!!
(Hooray for the weekend! Hooray for pay day! ) |
| posted by MsApples @ 4:25:00 PM |
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| Thursday, March 23, 2006 |
| What Women Don't Want... |
Here it is my friends. I'm going to share the secrets about what women REALLY want... or  rather, what we DON'T want. This may astound and shock you. Some people may even suggest that sharing these secrets is a betrayal of my sisters... or perhaps I've finally gone completely bonkers. I don't care. I've talked it over with my vagina and we've decided that this is for the good of all humanity.
I don't speak for ALL chicas. In fact, some may think this list is a whole bunch of bullshit. However, I do pay pretty close attention to my mamis, and this is what they've been saying.
WE DON'T CARE ABOUT:
1. The size of your cock. Really! I'm not kidding. We might make jokes about it, but when it comes down to it, we don't want something the size of my forearm trying to bully it's way into our Sweet Tunnel of Love. Big ones hurt, and they're completely unnecessary. Our vaginas are only 4 to 6 inches deep, and our mouths are about the same. Don't believe me? Go ahead! Try sticking something 6 inches long all the way down your throat. At best, most people can only get about 4.5 inches in without losing the ability to breathe. So, unless she has a vagina the size of a mayonnaise jar and a cavernous pie-hole in the middle of her face, your awesome big dick is going to be left out in the cold.
2. Your money, your car, your clothes or your bling. Sure, we want you to be clean, tidy and somewhat organized. We also want you to have enough cash so you're not mooching off us all the time. And, most gals would agree that it would be cool if we didn't have to take the bus when we went on dates. However, the jag isn't going to win our hearts, and a conversation about all your money and toys will get boring pretty damn fast.
3. Player/Bad boys. Okay, admittedly there are women who are messed up enough to want the really evil fuck-heads, but I'm not talking about those gals. Most of us want a nice, decent guy. However, he also needs to be confident and independent. One of the biggest turn-offs is a man who's looking for a mommy. We also don't want someone who's trying too hard to please us. We can tell when you're being insincere. When you try too hard, it looks like you're either pathetic and desperate, or you'll do or say anything to get what you want. Either way it's bad news. This is a situation where you don't want to seem the least bit manipulative.
4. A super-hot-movie-star-looking guy. Looks don't matter that much to most women. Besides, everyone knows that all the super-hot-movie-star-looking guys are gay. We're more interested in how you make us feel. Your attitude and personality are going to take you much further than your The Rock good-looks.
5. How friggin smart you are. If I had a nickel for every guy who told me he had a genius IQ, I'd be the one driving a Jag. Either I'm a beacon of MENSA, or somebody's exaggerating a little bit. IQ is based on a Bell Curve. That means most of us fall in the big bump in the middle rather than the skinny bits on the ends. Stop spending all your time trying to impress us. Shut up and listen. We like it when you listen.
6. How great you are at cunnilingus and other sex acts. Are you shocked that I would say this? It's true. We don't want to hear about it. We're more likely to be attracted to you if you're interesting. You'll be interesting if you're interested in us. Don't worry. If you don't screw it up, you'll get your chance. Once we feel attracted to you, you can SHOW us all your amazing skills.
Clearly, this is not an exhaustive list. However, I'm pretty sure I nailed the biggies. I'd love to offer more, but I had my mammogram this morning and my boobies hurt. Despite the pain inflicted by the plexi-glass "Vice of Death", it was an interesting experience. Who knew that when my average sized breasts are flattened to a thickness of 2 centimeters, they look remarkably huge? |
| posted by MsApples @ 6:08:00 PM |
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| Wednesday, March 22, 2006 |
| Give a little... |
Guard it, keep it, protect it, cherish it, hold it close. Its precious and some people will try to  take it.
I walk around barefoot through the tall grass. I lift my face up to the sun and the moon. I take long walks through the woods and breathe in the fresh crisp air. I swim in natural springs and play in the dirt.
Each day someone tries to steal my energy and each day I gladly give some away... and as long as I remember to keep it replenished. Things will be ok. |
| posted by MsApples @ 7:03:00 PM |
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| Tuesday, March 21, 2006 |
| Sit back... |
 I won't be giving away any more keys to unlock me. Only one key remains and I'm holding that one close. If I keep giving it to you, then you may change my locks and then I wont be able to get in, and that would be a pity.
I'm only just now getting a feel for me.
I'll let you fumble and stumble and not catch you. I'll let you remain blissfully ignorant to me. I'll sit back and allow you to try those old keys, and feel as they dont turn my tumblers. My grin will disguise my thoughts as I watch you flounder, unaware.
You should have taken it when you had a chance. Should have scooped it up and put it someplace safe, should have guarded it, protected it.
Cause now I'm watching as you stumble with my changed locks. All the while knowing I only have one key left and its all mine.
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| posted by MsApples @ 3:57:00 PM |
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| Monday, March 20, 2006 |
| An ease in my soul |
The noises slip in and out of my head, man. There's always a lot of shit going in and out and rolling about in there. Random words mixed with shoulda's and coulda's and do I really want
 to's...
Thoughts and feeling intermingling so fucking close, I dont know
which are real and which are just my own personal mind fuck.. I know someplace
in my head is the answer to all this. I know all I need to do is be still and be
quiet and it'll all become perfectly clear. I know all I need to do is listen to
me and what I feel and what I think. I need to pay attention to myself.
So, Im eliminating the static. For my own fucking good.
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| posted by MsApples @ 6:17:00 PM |
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| Sunday, March 19, 2006 |
| Mojito anyone? |
After this morning's escapades, I made myself a pitcher of these...enjoy -- I sure am.
Oh, I will fill you in later on what happened!
 15 oz BACARDI Rum
12 fresh spearmint leaves
1/2 lime
7 oz club soda
2 tbsp. simple syrup(or 4 tsp. sugar)
For the smoothest mojitos, gently crush mint leaves and lightly squeeze lime in a cool tall glass. Pour sweet syrup on top to cover and fill glass with ice. Add Bacardi Rum, club soda, and stir your emerging mojito well. Garnish with a lime wedge, a few sprigs of mint, toast, sip, and enjoy Bacardi mojitos with your friends. |
| posted by MsApples @ 6:35:00 PM |
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| Saturday, March 18, 2006 |
| Date #2... |
with LexLu is tonight! I AM SO EXCITED! Our chemistry is FUCKIN FABULOUS!!! The more we talk, the more we delve into one another, the more I feel like there can be something super nice here! We are defintely compatible. We have lots of common interests and an assortment of mentally stimulating conversations that can defintely make a chica's mind wander! I have to pinch myself just to realize that Neyda, your not dreaming -- I haven't been this giddy in awhile.
The boys are with their dad this weekend, which means I don't have a curfew!!! I can come home at anytime I want to, that is, if I choose to come home!!
I want to get "romantical". I want to be kissed. I want to be held. I want to be seduced. I want to play. I want to taste. I want to be tasted. I want passion. I want to get creative and okay I'm gonna say it -- I am horny as shit!!! I'm looking for some ACTION!!! I want some goooooood ass loving.
THE DROUGHT WILL BE ENDING IN THE VERY NEAR FUTURE!!!
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| posted by MsApples @ 9:49:00 AM |
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| Friday, March 17, 2006 |
| Happy St. Paddy's Day!! |
LEGEND OF ST. PATRICK: St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, used the shamrock to explain the concept of the Trinity [Father, Son and Holy Spirit] to the pagans. Legend says that he drove all of the snakes into the sea, eliminating them from Ireland. He is thought to be buried in Downpatrick, Northern Ireland. Every year, on the last Sunday in July, hundreds of people make the pilgrimage to Croagh Patrick [Patrick’s Hill] in Westport, Co. Mayo., where St. Patrick spent 40 days of Lent praying and fasting.
GREEN BEER: Here in America, St. Patrick’s Day is celebrated mostly with wimpy Coor’s Light or Budweiser, tainted with green food coloring. If you’d like to celebrate like a real Irishman, drink a pint of Guinness. There’s no comparison!
HAPPY HOUR HERE I COME!!!!! |
| posted by MsApples @ 10:36:00 AM |
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| Thursday, March 16, 2006 |
| Friends bearing gifts... |
 One of my great friends, Ileana, gave me this watch today.
Look closely...it reads "Diva"Living up to this title is NOT going to be difficult!
 My sister, Mayra, brought over this wine bottle today. She said that the "piggy" on the label looked just like ME!!!
Well, that dress is to die for, the hair is somewhat like mine, and the "attitude" is defintely me! I have it chilling right now, so that I can sip on some later tonight!
 Closer look
Got my hair done today. I wanted to make sure that all of the grey is covered for my Saturday night rendevous! Coloring my hair is sooo much easier now as a blonde...the grey that doesn't cover well, can actually look like highlights! That's the number one reason that I now am a blonde. Forget that song and dance about "blondes having more fun", I can't complain, I've always been known to be "fun" regardless of my haircolor... Just got off the phone with LexLu...it is ON for Saturday!!! We're going to make it an early day and start off on a bike ride... dinner, dancing and back to his place for dessert...and who knows what the rest of night will bring?!?!?! |
| posted by MsApples @ 5:20:00 PM |
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| Wednesday, March 15, 2006 |
| Misconception |
Does my weakened state entice you? Make you see me as a helpless damsel in distress?
I hope not, cause thats not the case.
Though my head is hung, my eyes are lifted. I can still see through you. I can still weed through and cut out and see clear. Though my back in to the point of breaking, Im still standing tall, looking you in the eye. Fear doesnt take a holiday, nor does my intuition. Both keep me grounded. Both keep me familiar. Both keep me reminded.
I may appear a lost soul, faltering on my path. But my feet, they continue to carry me forward. My determination undeterred. My stubbornness still intact. My temper still at the ready.
If you see me as a weak female, that would be a mistake. When you lose one sense, the others go on high alert.
Though I appear fragile, look closer and you'll see.
Nothing could be further from the truth. |
| posted by MsApples @ 3:57:00 PM |
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| Tuesday, March 14, 2006 |
| Feeling pretty |
Second day of testing is over -- thank goodness! My feet were hurting so much I went and got a  pedicure....oooooh I do love being pampered...having my feet massaged, rubbed -- simply marvelous. While I was there, figured I would get my nails done too.
I want to look pretty for LexLu on Saturday night. He wants to go out for dinner, drinks, and dancing! He's been wanting to learn how to dance Salsa and Reggaeton...and who else but his Cuban Love Goddess to teach him the steps and moves he's askin for! I personally want to sneak in a ride on his Ninja bike...vroooom vroooom.
My sixth sense tells me...he will be around for awhile--he's a good man, hardworker, considerate, sincere...oooh and the way he made me feel when he kissed me, ooooh I am getting warm just thinking about it.
While he was gone this past weekend, he either called or sent text messages letting me know how he was doing and how he was a bit disappointed that his closing didn't go down. He was upset to say the least, but you wouldn't have never known. His temperment is mellow--unlike mine--I can be explosive--that's a trait that attracts me to him.
Physically he's handsome, he has these eyes that are piercing....a smile that lightens up an entire room, he defintely puts "warm fuzzies" back into my vocabulary!
He said something to me today that defined that "warm fuzzy" sensation. He wants to spoil me, he wants to make me feel special...again, oh, if he only knew I am a pretty simple chica to please, and with that being said
Buenas noches |
| posted by MsApples @ 8:42:00 PM |
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| Skeletons in your closet... |
Definition: A skeleton is a secret, a past indiscretion, an error in judgement and choices that you have made in the past. Something that you may be ashamed of, but ultimately have learned from.
 Everyone has skeletons in the closet. I'm sure off the top of your head you can come up with a few scenarios that you wouldn't want your significant other to know right away. It's not that you are lying per se, it's just that you don't tell every him or her the minute you meet them your whole life story. After all, you have to maintain your aura of mystique, the charming allure that allows people to want to know more about you.
However, once you have been dating a guy for a significant period of time, and you feel comfortable in his presence, eventually you have to tell some of your sordid, dirty little secrets. The question is when?
Timing is everything. Even the most banal secret can become a cauldron of disaster if not dealt with properly. You don't want to tell him too early, or you might scare him away. Also, not too late, 'cos you know guys need forever time to process!
I've realized that I tend to get comfortable a tad early when sharing my bizness. Therefore, I've adapted a rule of thumb. "Show me yours and I'll show you mine". I use this rule very religiously. By the time he feels comfortable enough with me to tell me about the affair he had with a married woman, I'm usually more than ready to dish about my...um...picadillos as well. Plus co-sharing gives you deeper bonds of friendship and doesn't let the other person feel as vulnerable.
However, in this process, there are some facets that you need to keep in mind.
- First of all, there has to be a strong foundation of trust. And trust is not given immediately, it's earned over time. Alot of women I've come across fail to realize and utilize this fact.
- You also must have a strong foundation of friendship. After all, only true friends can accept the torrid truth about you without being judgmental about it and not throw it in your face.
- Third, you must have mutual respect for each other and be willing to accept that their view of you might change. It shouldn't, however we do live in an imperfect world.
- Last but not least, communication. You have got to tell the whole truth when you are ready to bare your soul, or let them know that there are still some secrets that are too painful to share. This is not the time when you lie...because lies tend to catch up with you. And why come clean if you are going to lie? It doesn't make sense.
Secrets can be destructive and eat at you from the inside out. Sometimes, you might feel the burden of sharing is not worth the benefit, but keep in mind that by airing your laundry, you establish a deeper level of trust in your relationship.
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| posted by MsApples @ 6:40:00 PM |
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| Monday, March 13, 2006 |
| Chocolate... |
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far  today, I have finished 2 bags of M and M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. ~ Dave Barry
I was talking to a friend of mine over a bowl of ice cream at Carvel yesterday. The question asked, "Why do you blog, and who in the world would read your blog?"Throwing this out there to my darling 10 readers...why do you read this blog?
Surely my life cannot be as scintillating as yours. My response was that in this modernistic society, humans as social beings enjoy voyeuristic activities. That's why reality shows have done so well, we want to be entertained, seeing people like us going through similar situations, living their lives the best way they know how.
Of course, I did educate them properly into the blogosphere, after all, ignorance is not really considered bliss. I do tend to get on my soapbox when talking about blogs, but it's just the writer in me struggling to come out.
Speaking of bliss, I got to try champagne filled chocolates the other day. I didn't even know that was possible. They were absolutely divine! For those with the sweet tooth, you really must be made aware that you cannot eat just one. |
| posted by MsApples @ 4:20:00 PM |
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| Sunday, March 12, 2006 |
| You are Sublime |
God says that you are the most precious wonder  He has created.
He created millions of beautiful flowers, billions of amazing insects, colors, sounds, beauty everywhere...
And yet... God's Word says that YOU are God's ultimate joy.
You are His masterpiece.
You are the most precious of all He has created.
This explains why God wanted to become a man himself, to be tortured and even die for you.
Never let this truth be stolen from you.
You are His own child, His deeply beloved! Never forget it.
If He wants to change you, it's only because He loves you too much to leave you with sin in your life. Because He created you for something better:
His own eternal glory!
That is your destiny: God's BEST! |
| posted by MsApples @ 7:56:00 AM |
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| Now Accepting Applications |
 Position Available: Friend with benefits. Room for job growth.
Experience Required: Must have had minimum of 2 sexual partners in their past. This is not a position with on-the-job training.
Minimum Age Requirement: Must be at least 21 years old.
Looking for some, if not all, of the following:
* Minimum college-level literacy
* Must be minimum of 3" taller than potential employer. 6' or taller is preferred but not an absolute.
* Must recognize and appreciate sarcasm. Must be able to take a minimum of what they dish out.
* Must love movies. Must enjoy going to see them in the theater, watching them on DVD and suffering through them on cable just to determine what has been edited out.
* Must provide their own transportation. Potential employer has no interest in being anyone's chauffeur.
* Needs to be well-kept, but not fall within the "metrosexual" label.
* Must understand what "Leave me the fuck alone!" means.
* Will not scoff when told that potential employer enjoys listening to Kelly Clarkson.
* Must be an embodiment of the term "adventurous."
* Must be a better listener than a talker.
* Must be a believer in cuddling, nuzzling and snuggling.
* Must be the type that likes to sit at the very back of a movie theater in the "love seat" row of seats.
* Must understand that being called a "mongohead," "nerdo," or "fucker," is a term of endearment in the potential employer's mind.
* Does not have any dependency issues.
* Must keep the ingestion of alcohol to a minimum. Must recognize one's own limit and not drink themself into oblivion.
* Must be annoyed by the following people: Dubya, Condi, Bill O'Riley, Tom Cruise, Joe Simpson and his two puppets, idiots who use "netspeak" all the damn time, Tara Reid, Jessica & Ashley Simpson, Dr. Fucking Phil and that home wrecking whore Angelina.
The following are not required, but very desirable:
* Tattoos and/or piercings
* Bald, strong arms, strong hands
* Plays a musical instrument
* Artistic nature
* Owns every movie made by Tarantino
* Regularly quotes favorite movies/books/songs/tv shows
* Interesting scars
* Slightly wounded, "needs fixing," nature
Job Description:
Employee will be at the employer's sexual beck and call, but will be able to fulfill the intellectual needs as well. Will be carrying on conversations about pop culture nonsense, current events and politics on a regular basis. Will provide hugs, snuggles, nuzzles and the lot when employer is craving human touch. Will keep a big fucking distance when they are not. Reading assignments are required on a semi-regular basis.
Causes for Termination of Employment:
* Touching of the employer's feet or the putting of your feet near the employer.
* Uttering any of the following phrases: "I think Arnold is doing a good job." "I think people are too hard on our president." "I really don't like to read."
* Moonlighting with another "company" without employer's knowledge or permission.We are an equal opportunity employer.
References are not required.
Thanks for your interest. |
| posted by MsApples @ 7:15:00 AM |
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| Friday, March 10, 2006 |
| I HATE cats! |
 LMFAO!!! OMG THIS IS TOO DAMN FUNNY!! |
| posted by MsApples @ 4:04:00 PM |
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| Thursday, March 09, 2006 |
| Bent |
 ready
waiting
anticipating
wanna spank me?
or fuck me?
it's up to you
cuz
I just can't decide |
| posted by MsApples @ 4:48:00 PM |
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| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 |
| Manipulation Station... |
Have you ever noticed - REALLY noticed - yourself acting in a certain particular way JUST to try to get the type of reaction you want out of someone else? We all have done it. We all do it.
 You pick and choose specific words or actions that you know will get the reaction you desire. I'm not talking about the GOOD ways in which this can work, such as in pep talks or motivational speeches, I'm talking here about your average passive-aggressive manipulative bullshit.
You are irritated and want some conflict to let off steam, so you say or do the one thing you know will most likely annoy someone into an argument. Instead of just talking about the issue that's bothering you.
You want your child to do chores, but instead of sitting down with them and letting them help you come up with solutions, you bribe, manipulate, and threaten. You are in a relationship with someone, and you aren't "thrilled" with it, so instead of just coming right out and saying so, you decide to act just self-centered enough so that HE pulls away and wants to end the relationship. Voila! The responsibility for YOUR own feelings is taken off of your shoulders and placed squarely on someone else's, and that other person is left wondering where THEY went wrong because YOU were too scared to be honest.
Have you ever figured out when someone is using this same tactic on you? And that, if you feed into THEIR manipulation, you end up being the one taking the action, and the one taking the blame, AND the one feeling badly about how things are working out, or badly about yourself, as if you have done something wrong in the relationship....and the first person now does not have to take responsibility for their own words or actions, because the focus has been shifted away from them, most of the time without the other person even being aware that it happened. Pretty shitty trick, huh?
Why do we DO these things? Is there some written law in our society that says we are not capable of being responsible for our own feelings, thoughts, and actions? That we have to have someone else to put them onto, because that's the only way we can deal with it within ourselves? What a bunch of crap.
It's no wonder so many people today are so emotionally dysfunctional and damaged. I won't say I have any clue how to fix this, because I have done and do the same things, but one thing I AM learning is to RECOGNIZE when I fall into these "playing games" modes, or when someone else is attempting to do it to me. I think that might be at least one baby step in the right direction. |
| posted by MsApples @ 6:11:00 PM |
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| Tuesday, March 07, 2006 |
| Dana Reeve Dies at 44 |
This has truly affected me....
Dana Reeve died at 44.
I am 44.
She leaves a 13 year old son.
I have a 13 year old son.
I understand that death is a part of life...
as some have quipped, death is the only thing in life that comes with a 100% guarantee.
I realize that while our bodies are mortal...
all human beings are eternal - our soul and spirit will never die.
Our spirits - the essence of who we are - will live forever!
Yet, knowing, understanding and accepting are not insync with me right now.
I am very saddened. I feel a loss. I feel sorrow.
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| posted by MsApples @ 6:49:00 PM |
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| Photos that make you feel worthy |
Terri Hatcher is so hot, Terri Hatcher is so this and so that... well, here my mean and hateful comes back out with claws a-blazin'. Behold!
She does look glamorous and a little pale in this photo. She also looks like she's 428 years old. I love that she looks 428 years old, y'all. I just.... do. Look closer..
Are you scared? Are you oddly satisfied and feeling as mean and hateful as I am? Do you have any guilt whatsoever about feeling this way? If you are a female, the answer is "Hell no." If you're a guy, you just put away the lotion and Kleenex, didn't you?
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| posted by MsApples @ 6:38:00 PM |
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| Monday, March 06, 2006 |
| Ode to My Hips |
Look out boy these hips are coming through! These hips'll knock you off your feet if you don't make room for them to move. These hips sway These hips sashay These ain't no size 3 1/2 slim Kate Moss teenage boy hypocritical hips-- These hips are woman hips! These hips are wide These hips hypnotize These hips fill a skirt the way the wind fills a sail. These hips have chutzpah, they think they can change the whole world! When I take these hips out for a walk on the street and the sun is shining and my bones are gleaming I place my hands on these two hips and let them speak the truth. "Ode to My Hips" © 1987 Lesléa Newman |
| posted by MsApples @ 1:19:00 PM |
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| Sunday, March 05, 2006 |
| Chance... |
Many of us havent had the chance, to experience true love. We find so called love in others, we settle. Do we give up? Or put our faith in God above? I choose to put it in God's hands He will not lead me in the wrong direction. Wait, love will come, Don't search for it, Don't put your heart through such rejection. I know my soul mate is out there. God would not make me wander alone too long. He has given me good friends and family, To help in this time, to keep my chin up and stay strong. I will wait as long as it takes, I wont settle for less than true love this time. I want someone who can love me like no other, One who can satisfy my heart, my soul and my mind. |
| posted by MsApples @ 9:14:00 AM |
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| Storytime... |
I'm so glad that I went out with LexLu on Friday night! I have spent the entire day on Saturday sick in bed. Just when I thought I was getting better I get a relapse. WTF?!?!?! I just made me a cup of ginger tea--sipped on it slowly... letting it warm up my insides....ahhh felt wonderful, and I decided to get up...don't feel like staying in bed any longer.
 It's been 20 months since I last when out on a date--and yes 20 months since I have been intimate with a man--I've had many offers to go out and I have declined. My past break-up was one that truly hurt and scarred me. I haven't declared war on men, I am just very cautious.
I didn't think that Kevin's affairs would have such on affect on me and the trust that I have in men. Don't get me wrong...I am the biggest flirt on God's green Earth, I just won't cross the line and go out on a date. There has only been one instance in that I would have gone out, but he was in another state, another dimension...not close to home...and I have sworn to myself that I would never have another LDR since Kevin. Thank goodness I have friends that love me and convinced me that this was the thing to do...go out, have a good time, meet new papis...THEY ARE NOT ALL LIKE KEVIN...thanks guys...I love you for putting up with my indecsiveness...and convincing me to go out and date once again.
Anywho, I met up with LexLu on Friday night at Don Shula's Steak House Restaurant. He was already there, I was running a lil late, traffic in Miami on a Friday night is HORRIBLE!!! I called him to let him know that I was making the turn into the restaurant and he saw me. I parked and he came to open the door for me [Hmmm a gentleman I thought--I like]. Took my hand and helped me outta the car and gave me a kiss and a hug...grabbed my hand and twirled me around [yea, you know they have to check out the booty].
We both agreed that it would be casual. I wore a pair of nice fitting jeans and a brown crocheted top and brown high-heeled pumps. He looked as just as handsome as his picture. He was wearing jeans and a guayabera...oooh and BTW he smelled soooo good.
Walked into the restaurant, there was a 20-30 minture wait. Decided to go to the bar and order drinks. Great convo...great chemistry...great all around, he exuded this confidence that was sexy...alluring!!! He had me laughin, he had my attention the entire time. I dont like a man that's dull & boring...I love a man with jokes--a sense of humor...that tells me that I can pull out my bag of tricks and be my crazy self too. Throughout out convo, he would reach out and touch my hand, touch my hair and tell me that I was much prettier and defintely sexier in person than in my pics..[if you haven't caught on by now, we meet via personals], that made me smile. We talked about work, told me how his day was...we talked about me, about the court hearing, my kids, my family...then they let us know our table is ready...we take our drinks and we're seated.
Our server came and took our order...and we talked and talked and talked -- in fact we never even realized when our food was brought to the table...we were that connected and that into one another that it was just us the entire evening.
Sadly, dinner came to an end...and I promised myself that it would only be dinner on the first date. He walked me to my car, I thanked him for dinner and for the wonderful convo, company...told him I couldnt wait for our next outing together...he mentioned that next time he's bringing his bike and his extra helmut so that we can go riding by the beach and he's going to cook dinner for me at his place...I told him that I would love that and I would be looking forward to seeing him again.
He grabbed my waist, pulled me close and kissed me. Soft, slow and deep....mmmmmm DAYUM!!! I was a little dizzy there for a second...I somehow had forgotten how a kiss can make me feel...WOW...he softly stroked my hair and kissed my neck....I was butter BUTTER I tell you melting at his touch...I smiled...gave him a hug and got into my car and gasped for air and paused to think ... what a way to end a wonderful evening....
He called me to make sure I got home safe and sound...and has called me a couple of times to check up on me to see if I needed anything...I like...I like...BUT I am going to be ooooh so careful.
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| posted by MsApples @ 9:05:00 AM |
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| Friday, March 03, 2006 |
| I'm going out tonite!!!! |
Going out with LexLu tonite! I just got outta the shower, I am straightening my hair...looking cute! We're getting together for drinks & dinner. I am excited. We've been chatting for over a month now. I got bronchitis and I had to cancel our last date...so this is a long time coming! Tell you more tomorrow...my hair is a bitch to straighten!!!
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| posted by MsApples @ 6:14:00 PM |
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| Thursday, March 02, 2006 |
| A Soul Touch |
I knew in my head how it would all end, but how did I know you would touch my soul? Did you feel yourself turning the key? I hear the long ago words you spoke. "Don't fall in love." I promised you that I wouldn't. I kept my promise dear. For I didn't fall.
I floated.
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| posted by MsApples @ 4:43:00 PM |
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| Wednesday, March 01, 2006 |
| A Tempest |
I lay curled in warmth close to the edge of sleep,
Slipping in and out of darkness when into my conciousness creeps,
the awareness of a storm.
 Sound intensifies, fully roused my mind fills,
With heavy rhythmlike drumbeats the pounding incessant rain builds,
then recedes in passing waves.
I hear the rhythm change from slow and steady,
To a hard, almost urgent beat that pulls me from the warmth of bed,
out to the heat of the night.
Lightening pierces the dark in wondrous displays,
Of flashing light as colourful electrical impulses play,
across the vast expanse of sky.
As the last thundrous wave washes over my skin,
I'm drawn into the storm's climax,
lost in the heightened sensations,
of the dark wetness of the night.
The storm dissipates leaving the night at peace,
But thoughts of making love to you still come in waves that never cease,
like a tempest in my mind. |
| posted by MsApples @ 7:32:00 PM |
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| the spirit blooms |
the world is not respectable; it is mortal, tormented, confused, deluded forever; but it is shot through with beauty, with Love, with glints of courage and laughter; and in these, the spirit blooms...
~george santayana~
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| posted by MsApples @ 6:20:00 PM |
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| When I think of you... |
 There's a part of me that wants to fuck you silly every chance I get...for the pure and simple pleasure of it.
There's another part of me that's afraid of you. I'm worried that you're playing with me. You have other motives and ultimately you'll leave me in a crumpled heap like your predecessors.
There's a part of me that wants to turn around and briskly walk away with no intention of glancing back.
There's a part of me that wants to tell you to listen to your heart, be true to yourself, and live your life as if it's the only one you've got...no matter what the consequences are for me.
There's a part of me that wants to hold your hand and look into your face while I listen to your worries and concerns. I want to be with you as a good and true friend. I want to understand.
There's a part of me that wants to make love to you a thousand different ways. I want to share pleasure with you and feel your heart beat pressed against my chest.
There's a part of me that wants to cry in your arms, not because I want you to make it all better, but because I want to believe you're strong enough to hold me until I'm done. You'll whisper sweet things in my ear and I won't be alone.
There's a part of me that wants to fly away with you on a magic carpet and live a dream come true. |
| posted by MsApples @ 3:46:00 PM |
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| About Me |
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Name: MsApples
Home: Miami, Florida, United States
About Me: 46 year old NYC Cuban Love Goddess, now residing in MIA, divorced, mom to 2 teenagers, overworked & underpaid educator to loving, yet outta control students...I am intelligent, creative, sexy, compassionate, funny, sarcastic, loving, fucked up, romantic, spontaneous, moody at times, confused, confusing, a bit geeky, helpful and helpless at times, a good listener and a good friend.
See my complete profile
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